Dioramas and Dynamite girls!

I'm halfway through painting my doll room. I'm trying to make it easy enough for me to turn it into different size rooms by using a movable wall and sliding it across the floor. It's about 90cm in length so it will certainly have enough room for at least the studio apartment. It's got four girls living there. Eventually I'll give them a nice couch but for now everything will be custom painted furniture I bought off eBay. The couch is my priority though, that can make a dull room light up.

I've painted it a light brown based cream and it's looking really good. I'm going to use different wallpapers for some rooms but cream is pretty easy and universal so I think it'll be the best base colour to work with.

I'll eventually get these windows. Nice and simple. I'd like to find some doors I like my so far nothing.

To start with I don't want to be too ornate, the apartment is supposed to be pretty normal for a studio apartment shared by four girls who are barely making ends meet i.e spending all their money on fashion.

The studio will be the centerpiece of my story, and I'm going to try and  make a few different places for them to hang out, but there are characters who visit the girls in the house and obviously I want to get into their sides of things. That means I can make other apartments and all sorts of locations.

The girls in my story are as follows, and I want to get up separate profiles once I have them fleshed out a bit.

There's Marquelle Dale, an Electro Pop Jasper. She's known as Dale to most people and hails from Finland. She came over for exchange and was discovered by a modelling agency. She dropped her course without her parents knowledge and moved in with a girl she met at the same agency. My pic, she's the only one I have with me, the rest are still in transit or on preorder.

Hope Savage, an Electro Pop Rufus Blue (One of my favourite dolls ever). My christmas present from my partner, he's so good to me. Believe it or not, that's her real name. She's a born and bred London girl. She comes from a normal family with many siblings, including a twin sister, but the two couldn't be more different. The girls live with her in her apartment.

Celia, a YeYe Amelie. She's my Christmas present from my parents. They usually just give me $20 but I managed to convince them to let me buy something so I have something to open for Christmas. Cece is french, but moved between divorced parents and lived in both Paris and London on half of the year. This is her first time not living with either parents. She is a rebellious girl who seems to naturally lean toward the wrong side.

Nameless girl, a Chill Factor Neve, who is my christmas present to myself. I don't know what she's about yet. But she makes four! I think she's adorable!! The most I'll eve spend on a Dynamite Girl I think, but maybe not a Dynamite... boy? I want a boy next! Probably a Kyu.

And I'll figure out who these girls are once they arrive. The two on the side are In the City Dayle (who will be Hope's twin) and Reese (who is like, my dream DD girl, so glad I got in on this preorder!), and the middle is Fashion Royalty (my first FR!) Nu Face Perk Colette. 

I also have a sporty Ken on the way, he's going to fit in well I think. His silly smile will add a bit of normality and humour to it all.

Colette is my favourite IT doll ever, and I'm super excited to be getting one. I think she's cute and sexy all in one. SUPER EXCITED. I'm not a huge fan of the Fashion Royalty girls, but not in a way that I don't like them. I just wouldn't own a lot of them. I do love looking at them. 

I have a lounge set, kitchen set, one bedroom set, and a dining table set on the way. I'm going to repaint it all to my tastes before you see the real thing, doll and house all together. I'm hoping to get back into photo stories, I had great fun with my BJDs all those years ago. 

Anyway, I thought I'd update because I'm actually doing things and thinking about things, which I had a big gap with. Fibromyalgia-wise, looks like I'm going into hospital for treatment but we'll see how that helps. Hopefully it does because I don't know how my mentality will fair if it doesn't,

Take care! <3

OOTD! + nerd things

12/10/2011

dress: unknown

cardigan: country road

tights: coles, woo!

belt: jayjays

boots: doc marten

necklaces: cotton on, ebay

 I friggin' love these boots, but they're such a shit to get on and off because they have no zippers. So you must lace them, like normal boots. I'd be cool with that if I didn't have arthritic hands and that fibromyalgia shit. But ugh, they're so awesome. A 21st birthday present from one of my very good friends. God, that was almost two years ago. UGH I'M SO OLD.

sexy ass man: mine

bitch who ruined my self timer: chris

He was eating, and he actually loves this movie, but this is a good reenactment of my reaction to The Expendables. Chris and my brother, Jack, are into painting Warhammer. Chris is pretty good too (here's his recent ork shaman), and Jack is getting there. They like to cover all surfaces with their shit. No, but I like it too lol. We don't play, painting is more fun for us, and just looking at them is enough for me at the moment. I'm veeery slowly painting on of Chris' Skaven, but I'd really like to get a set of Dark Eldar to paint. They're so badass. We have, however, recently discovered that there are other miniatures, which has blown our minds and theoretically ruined us financially. 

SEE? SEE? AWESOME. And that's not even the half of it. Smart Max minis stroke my steampunk/sci-fi love so good.

Don't pretend you didn't know I was a nerd ;P

Anyway, I'm going to try and sleep. Hopefully I can get into the city tomorrow and get some new foundation. Lovelove! <3

Hair and clothes and stuff.

I was playing around with some new makeup, and among my haul was OCC's Lip Tar in Tarred, which is supposed to be an opaque black. They're supposed to be mixed and I'm assuming it'd be more useful in that way, because it wasn't as thick as I'd hoped. I could get it perfect, but as soon as I moved or did anything it'd just show my lips under.

Even so, it's really nice to wear, even if it's not for long periods of time. A lipstick with a thicker consistency would probably suit my needs and tastes better. I'm also after a new foundation, the MAC studio finish powder I'm using is a bit too cakey for my skin, so I'm going to try something a bit lighter, maybe even a liquid so I can still use my MAC stuff to cover blemishes, because it's so damn layer-able that it does what my concealers should. I also need new brushes, I need to expand my collection to suit my expanding makeup collection.

It's always weird to see my hair with no colours in it. Which brings us to my next thing.

It looks a lot better when Icrimp it, I think, but that could be my love for strategically messy hair coming through. The extensions turned out really well, though I think I'll probably end up going for glue or tape next time, as the micro beads aren't very forgiving in choppy layers like mine. Give another four months I think, and they'd look a lot better. They also sit a lot differently to weft hair extensions, being that they're singular bits of hair, they tend to just stick to themselves if they're cut in layers. While this is actually really cool on my hair, because it looks all untidy and kind of trashy, which is how I like it, it's not easy to make it look sleek. I just think it'd be easier to hide wefts, and maybe even tapes.

I do love the colour though, the silver turned out a lot better than I expected. It certainly didn't stick to the extensions well, but I'm not so worried about that, once I have the dreads in it won't really matter.

I should get my dread supplies in the next week or two, and so I can get started on those. I'm hoping to have them in by the cup, I think that'd look nice if I can manage it. It certainly doesn't look hard but we'll see. The good thing about fibro is that sometimes I can just sit and watch youtube tutorials for hours and hours.

I don't know what's up with my blergh face, but I'm probably going to wear some black gloves with this, and maybe even a black lace skirt under it. It's at the dry cleaners now so I can't try, but I think it'd end up looking a lot more... me, I guess. This is so uncomplicated and normal for an event outfit, I need to go mad! I'm even thinking of black lipstick. YEAH. MAD. I'm going on inspiration from the collar and taking it a bit further into clown-ism. I probably won't be able to wear heels, I tried them on in this shoot and it just wrecked me, then and after, but that might just work out for the better with this outfit idea.

Anyway, so that's that for now. Not sure what colour I'll have my hair. The dreads I'm making around lilac, grey, and palest blonde, so I might mix them, at least at the front, and get a more vague colour going on, so I can do whatever to the front of my hair. Not sure, we'll see how they turn out. I also might teach mum or Chris how to braid them in so they can help me at the very back.

Thanks for reading guys! <3 My dog, Skip, says hi, he's sleeping in my room tonight. On my bed. Life is so hard for the little guy.

Melbourne Cup outfit and makeup

A couple of weeks ago I received my Meal in Monaco dress from Modcloth. I'm planning to wear it to the Melbourne Cup in November, along with a cheap and awesome top hat fascinator and some heals for as long as I can stand them. At this rate I'm expecting to have to go in a wheelchair, so heels will be on if that's the case because fuck it, I'm not walking. If I'm feeling good I might wear them for an hour or so and cling to everyone. I don't have very good balance and so I'm worried about that most of all, not my ability to withstand heels. One of my biggest troubles with fibro is muscle strength, and my balance and ability to hold myself up is a mere 50% at the best of times.

Anyway, so this is how it looks. Excuse my face, this was a really bad fibro day and I hadn't showered for three days or so. I did brush my hair for you though, aren't I nice.

The dress is really good quality and definitely worth the money. It does run small, I sized up just in-case because it's easier to alter it that way, and so I'm glad I did. I'm 172cm (5'7) and 60kg (132lbs) and I got a medium, and it just fits around my ribs. I am pretty broad though. But yeah, size on up. I love it, even if I do feel a bit manly with my shoulders all out there. I can't help but feel that they're huge. Even so, the dress is so lovely I'ma say fuck it and work that broad shoulder shit until I die from it.

I also practiced with the makeup I bought for it, though it shows up more pink/purple IRL. I'm so damn pale, the camera just washes the paler colours out. I'm starting to get the hang of winged eyeliner. A big help was finally buying some gel eyeliner and a good brush. That shit is AMAZING. I use Wet N Wild Mega Eyes gel eyeliner with either the Coastal Scent eyeliner brush, or the Elf small angled brush. I find the angled brush to be easier to use, which really surprised me. I get all of my makeup, save the 'brand' stuff, from Crush Cosmetics. I did try the Crush Cosmetics gel eyeliner, but it wasn't as pigmented as the Wet N Wild, and was a lot dryer and harder to apply. So this look is Wet N Wild Mega Eyes eyeliner, NYX Ultra Pearl Mania pigments in yellow gold, white pearl, and lilac.I applied the gold pigment wet, and though I'm not big on the colour gold, I think it's my favourite of the three. So damn pretty, like a Cleopatra gold. The lips are NYX Mega Shine Lip Gloss in plush red with a Clinique clear lipgloss  (so long ago, don't remember what it was called and the label has smudged off, but it smells like turkish delight and is awesome) over the top. Damn, so pigmented, and it stains really well which is good if you want to wipe it off and apply a clear gloss over the top, it's really pretty. But this NYX line is my favourite, I have several and love all of them.

I won't go with the red for the Cup, probably stick with my trusty sweet heart (my favourite NYX Mega Shine) but I am happy with the shadow. I might put the colour higher up and bolder, because it's the freaking Melbourne Cup and it demands outrageous.

I've also got some half lashes in, which was my first time ever using false lashes of any sort. They turned out lovely and made me feel so delicate. They're Glameyes in Alicia, and they're really good quality. Though it's my first time using lashes, I've had experience with them, and these are really soft and flexible compared to to others I'v played with. I'm a bit of a makeup noob, I've been wearing it for years but never really put the effort in or cared much about technique or products. I'm glad I took that step, I really love makeup and it's something I can do even when I'm sick. Not on bad days, but still. People are finally starting to understand that i don't put it on for other people. I love to put it on, it's like painting, it's fun. Plus, I feel pretty with it on, I do it for me. It's like a weird therapy.

And aw, doesn't Templeton look happy on my arm there. I love my tattoo so much, I just can't put it into words. I'll have to show some of the nice things people have said about it to show Tom, I think he'd be pretty stoked considering how he nearly died doing the damn thing. I have ideas for the other arm, another owl. I see Templeton as the masculine side, with the city and rivers, and the lightning bolts, a big 'strength' kind of commentary I suppose. And so Glossum (because I like that name) will be the feminine owl, with cherry blossums and more... garden inspired things, in pinks and purples and oranges, like a sunset/sunrise. Same sort of shape too with the clouds around them, though they'll both eventually cover my whole upper arm.

I like naming my tattoos, they're special. My green wrist owl's name is Marvin. He'll one day be joined by a bat and a sloth, my other two favourite animals. I like things in trees it seems. They don;t have names yet, though. I have to wait and see what they look like. I know I'm strange, I don't pretend I'm not XD

Anyway, Chris should be home from work soon, and so I'll finish up. Thanks for looking <3

Outfit of the day!

I bought this top/dress a while back and it finally arrived! I did that thing (and you know what I mean) when you strip down instantly and try it on, because it has an owl on it! WOO. I have a 'thing' for owls and what I mean, really, is that I have a minor obsession with owls. I have two permanently etched on my skin and plan on more, a slew of things with owls on them, and owl things in general. If I could have a pet owl I would. If they didn't vomit bones and try to violently mate with me, anyway.

Top: Emperor Eternity

Shorts: Jay Jays (seriously old jeans, cut of into shorts)

Stockings: Somewhere like Dotti or Forever New.

Necklaces: Ebay. Tree one was a gift from Chris.

Chris and I are going to see Fright Night tonight which I'm pretty excited about. Not much else to talk about, I didn't get much sleep because I forgot to talk my medication and woke up in pain. That's never fun, but oh well. Try again tonight.

I am tired.

I'm on sleeping pills by doctors instructions. They are not working. I tired to tell him they didn't work last time, but clearly his medical opinion is more valid than my personal experience with the drug... Despite him treating me with the same drug last time. Sometimes I wonder if people actually listen to what I say, or if they just stare at my hair.

I would like one night of sleep. Uninterrupted sleep is the holy grail at the moment. I would kill for a whole night of sleep. KILLLLLLLLLL.

Of blogs and things.

I've always felt closer to sanity after I've written things down. I don't handle my emotions well and get pretty flustered and irrational. Taking the time to write how I feel gives me a perspective that I take more time to find if I just whinge and cry and blame everything else.

I think a misconception of blogs are, probably because they're usually shared publicly, is that people write them for attention, and in a way I guess it's true. I want to feel validated. I don't want to be praised, just acknowledged in a vague way. A big reason for me is because I am very sensitive, and I care a lot about what people think. I don't always care about their thoughts of me because I've come to realise hardly anyone thinks about other people in that way most people feel so paranoid about, but some of us do have that desire to be counted as a human being, with thoughts and ideas, even if they aren't as fabulous as some of the greater minds... or as wickedly tempting as the less... greater.

In a somewhat unrelated way, I want to share my life and my existence with someone, because while it is small and meaningless in the grand scheme of things, yes, it's also beautiful and tragically amazing that we, as complex organisms in a tiny dot floating about the universe, have resided to this need to feel validated, because maybe some of us feel that we should matter, not as some special snowflake better than someone else, but as an individual never to exist again in the history of anything. That history just flies by us, the regular people, and why should we matter any less? We are just as beautiful and complex as any other, we have thoughts and emotions and lives worth sharing. Why should it be considered vain to want to share a life, especially considering the feat of the internet and the ease of it all. It's not about caring, it's about sharing. It's about feeling validated, not being validated.

When you can go back and look at your own life as a series of exact posts, filled with emotions and stories of experiences you've usually forgotten about. You come across pictures you never would have bothered put in a photo album, if that were the 'thing' we did these days. I wish I could go back through my mothers blog and see what she was like as a human being, rather than just 'mum'. She's become someone else now, and it's lost forever to people who didn't know her then, and I think that's really sad. All I have is what she'll tell me, and yet I know more about strangers, and everyone else knows these same intimate details. I find snippets of my parent's lives as though they were once, oh god, people, and not just my parents.

There's something special about going through old diaries and wondering where they are now, and I find old blogs and get that same ache. I just want to feel validated, like someday my kids will think, "I wonder if my mother ever felt alone like this, or felt so in love like this," and I don't have to say a word, because they know. They know that people of all sorts feel and experience this shit of an amazing life, because with words in random blogs you can relate to people you'd never even think about or meet.

I think that's about as deep as I'll get. The rest will be my actual life, which is by far the most exciting thing I've ever done.